Thursday, April 3, 2014

Uncle sing a song and dance a jig

Unsure if you would actually call it luck but my family is for the most part very understanding about my limitations. Sometimes a gentle reminder is needed but it doesn't take much and for that, I am grateful!

Because of my Uncle Larry setting an example of strength and courage before me, I had inspiration. He had crooked hands and crooked toes and a wild ornery spirit! But he didnt want pity and mostly didnt want any help. He lived through RA like no one could have imagined. He worked....played with grandkids and was known to wiggle his fraile crooked body on dance floor now and then. But dont pity him. He was Cowboy Tough.  He was a hard may take him extra time but he would get it accomplished and with a smile. He always had a smile or a song to sing . I miss him very much. And I feel an honor and strange need to follow in his footsteps. 
It frustrating.  I have all these medications now that he didn't have. I was able to be diagnosed before any major damage was done. So with that and more progress in technology one would think all is okie dokie.  And medically speaking...if my blood counts are decent and my liver isn't falling out and my crp is level then huh? I must be ok. Really?

Cause that doc doesn't understand that Im 40ish and not 129ish. And I have a family and dinner needs cooked and a job..yes a real life job. That with requires me to unhook my hands every morning, so I can hobble to the shower and stumble through my morning. I was already exhausted when I woke up. So I am finding new ways to cope and new tools to use and maybe I can help someone else find their inner cowboy too.
And, I adjust. I follow the lead Uncle left for me in his legacy. I want to be cowboy tough. And I want to sing and smile through the pain because if I dont I may curl up into a ball and not come out. I still have life to experience and foods to taste and places to travel. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time if thats what it takes. I will fight, I will cry and some days I will rest. Not because I'm lazy or depressed. But because I really have plans to get up tomorrow and sing and get to work and tell myself I can get through one more minute. I can do it because I know it can be done. Uncle Larry did it and I will be proud to follow his crooked cowboy tough path. 
Thanks Unc for showing me the way!